Click. Just that one click. The “OK” button on the email auto-respond – I was officially “out of office”!
A Girl On A Journey is currently exploring the south of Spain on a Holiday/Adventure until 13th June”
This was the first time since starting my blog that I actually set up an auto respond. I was away for a week and I literally didn’t reply to a single email and frankly, it felt amazing! I had seen some of my emails on my phone but didn’t even open my laptop until I got on the plane to fly home, apart from to play some music whilst lazing by the pool.
There is something about having the space to turn your brain off completely. To ignore the lists of things I need to do that are constantly whirring around my head. To not be thinking about photo taking or deadlines and just be focussing on the here and now. The moment at hand. Sitting with my feet dangling in the swimming pool in the sunshine or reading a book without any distractions.
I knew I needed a holiday, but I had no idea how much. I was writing in my diary the other day (another thing I struggle to fit into my daily life when I have deadlines etc) and reading it back now, I can totally see how much I needed to get away.
I’m not going to lie, the past 9 months, possibly more, have been really tough. Making the decision to move on from an industry I thought I would be in for the rest of my life, applying to uni and waiting for decisions about that, coming to terms with leaving cities and friends and moving forwards. I know its the right thing to be doing, and I’m so so excited about the next step, but it has been really tough.
What I wasn’t expecting was how much that had been weighing down on my shoulders. Being out in spain felt a lot like a turning point. It felt like a book-end to the crap that I’ve been dealing with recently and the start of an exciting summer before my brand new start. It’s invigorating.
I didn’t even consider that being out there would feel such a relief, but I suppose up until a few weeks ago, I was still sitting on the fact that I had got into uni, and therefore was moving on from musical theatre as an industry, and so I guess it was all still hanging over me a bit.
Being out there in the sunshine has had such an amazing effect on my mindset, it feels like a fresh start, I didn’t feel anxious or worried all week, and have managed to keep that calm now that I am back which, knowing me at the moment is a huge deal. I have felt comfortable, happy and completely content. I felt so safe in the company of the wonderful David, who I don’t know what I would do without – we could arse around in blow up boats one minute, have a deep and meaningful chat the next and then sit in silence watching back to back “survivor” episodes and it was always so easy – but then it always has been with us!
I may just be on a vitamin D high from ALL THE SUNSHINE, but I feel like last week, away from everything, literally taking a step back from my world and spending it relaxing with someone I feel completely safe with, has been EXACTLY what I needed – and I had no idea how much I needed it. I feel comfortable in my own skin, I feel happy, I feel safe.
I’m not really sure what the point of this post is…..it was going to be telling you all about our trip, but now it’s turned a bit personal I reckon that will have to wait for another post later in the week to show you all about it!
Anyway, I guess what I wanted to say is last week has reminded me how important it is to completely turn off every now and again. Take time away from your to-do lists and e-mails. Go and get yourself some sunshine with someone you can wear no makeup with – I underestimated how good it would make me feel – turns out, this trip, more than just a holiday in the sun, has been just the break, in all senses of the word, that I needed.