Last week’s post (link here) was written from my sick bed, with me feeling a little sorry for myself. Little did I know how completely wiped out I was going to be for the entire rest of the week. In fact, sitting here writing this post, I am still feeling a bit run down a whole week later. This bug COMPLETELY knocked me out!
As I literally could barely get out of bed, I was off work for the whole of last week – and it killed me! It absolutely killed me to ring the hospital and tell them I wouldn’t be able to come in for my shift. Missing opportunities to learn, to meet new people and to throw myself into this environment and everything that comes with it. But it was what I needed.
This course if full on. I have been very open about that on this blog – something which was always my aim with documenting this journey. I wanted to be completely open about the course and what is involved – and I think I have been. So if you’ve been reading my blog for a while, you know, this course is full on.
Even so, I’ve been amazed at how completely run down I have been this week – I have slept more than I think I ever have done in my life! I was totally determined however that it I was going to have to take a week out, I would use that time usefully. So, on Thursday, when I finally felt that I could get out of bed and get my brain into some semblance of gear, I settled myself at my desk and began to “blitz” my research essay.
We have a module running at the moment that is based on critical analysis of research, and the final assessment of the module is a 3000 word critical analysis essay which is due the day before we go on easter holidays, which means we are meant to be writing it alongside this placement. All I can say is, that is so much easier said than done. One you’ve finished your three 12.5 hour shifts a week, and recovered from the associated jet-lag that comes with night shifts into day shifts etc, and actually seen the people you care about, finding the time and mental capacity to sit down and write an essay is really blooming’ tricky.
Up until this point, I’ve only managed to write notes but not actually put essay words on a page. This week, in that respect, was a bit of a god-send. I managed to sit down and spend 3 days (in bits, because my poorly brain hasn’t been able to stay focussed for more than about 20 minutes at a time!) just putting words on a page from the notes I’d written, and then reading over it.
It’s still not quite finished, I need to add a few extra bits and some more references, and then read over the whole essay and make sure it’s all phrased right etc, but I feel a huge sense of relief that the majority of the work is now done on it.
I took the time this week to make myself feel better, and then, when I felt well enough to use the time productively, I did. I hate taking time off sick, but apparently my body just couldn’t go on, and I needed to give myself the chance to stop and recoup. Sometimes you just have to take a step back and look after yourself, and then when you can, use the time to make the next few weeks easier for yourself.
Now that I feel much brighter, and I can finally get my butt out of the house without feeling like there’s a chance I might actually pass out in the co-op, I’m finally back. After a whole week away from the hospital, I am back on shift this week, and I CAN’T WAIT!
Image by Alisa Anton
To read last week’s “Midwife Mondays” post, click here